I haven’t had a drink of alcohol in four years, and I wanted to share why I made the decision to remove that habit from my life entirely. When I imagine what the world would look like at its best, I don’t see alcohol or any narcotic drugs being present. Why would we need those things to help us create some sort of fantasy for ourselves, when reality would be true, beautiful and amazing? That is what alcohol and narcotics are typically used for: to escape the challenges of everyday life and to allow us to temporarily live in a fantasy. That is why I drank back in high school. Simply, I was unhappy with my life and I wanted to fill the void inside in the best way that society showed me how. I looked forward to the idea of letting go of my stresses and to just be free to go crazy. The one very frustrating thing though, and I am being completely honest when I say this, is that after each party or bar run I would feel just as terrible. I would wonder, “Why didn’t that make me feel any better?”
And so partly why I am writing this is to see if any of you can relate. Is this a common feeling? That getting drunk and high are things that we feel we have to do but we know it's a far cry from what we should be able to have in our lives?
In the challenging world we live in it seems that alcohol, and other substances, have become a necessity in order to function. We’ve developed as a society to be people that will do anything to be taken away from the struggles that come with our everyday lives. Whether it be through drugs, alcohol, video games, TV shows, whatever. But what is the consequence of this sort of lifestyle? We lose touch with our hearts. And when we do this then we cannot be true, we cannot be at peace, and we cannot be happy.
I watched the beginning of a short documentary called The Truth about Marijuana. Often weed is said to be used casually and just for medical purposes. It’s “harmless”. However, in this video they had people who were absolutely addicted and, in the moment, unaware of that fact. The general feeling they all shared was regret. They regretted not finishing school; they regretted getting kicked off the wrestling team; they regretted that now they had a record and couldn’t find work… One man expressed it very well why he got high and I think it's universally true, “getting high was a way to escape”. He later shared one eye-opening experience. After getting into a serious accident where he totaled his car, he recalled that his first reaction was to reach for his weed and light up. Sadly I imagine it was this very habit that led him on the path to reach this unfortunate outcome. And so, it is impossible to imagine it could also somehow be the way to a solution.
People, we all are capable of achieving greatness. But these things- drugs and alcohol- won’t help any of us to get there. To achieve greatness, to be the best we can be… it requires following our hearts. It sounds cliche, yes I know. How else, though, do you think the great men and women of history and today do the things they did? The people who go out and change history, find true love, leave behind a legacy, they followed the call from within.
Let’s take an honest look. What does alcohol give you? What does getting high get you? Is it possible we’re letting this shitty “friend” to be apart of our life when the truth is it does nothing positive for us or for the world? Even overlooking the large number of catastrophes that substance abuse causes, has either drugs or alcohol allowed us to be more successful? To deepen our relationships with our friends and families? It is something I think each of us have to ask ourselves.
Is there a world ahead of us without the “need” for being high or drunk? Probably not for a while. But in my world I decide that it isn’t needed. I don’t want to escape life. Even the difficult times in my life have been valuable to me. They have taught me so much. Shaped who I am. Made me stronger. And the people I have gone through challenges with are the ones closest to me.
I don’t want to “need” alcohol to have the courage to say what I need to say. I don’t want to “need” weed in order to find peace and to de-stress. My courage will be developed step-by-step. My inner peace I will find by taking care of my mind, body and spirit. And that means taking time to listen to my heart, to ask it “Am I living a good life? Am I being the best I can be? If not, what can I do differently?”
I believe people who finally have asked that question to themselves (and on a daily basis), have broken free of the chains in their lives. They are the ones who finally take control of their diet and lose weight. They are the ones who attend the group meetings to address their addiction. They are the ones who understand they deserve real love and leave their toxic relationships. The people who turn to drugs and alcohol only get the illusion of being free from their chains. In times of crisis, when the ground seems to be giving way right beneath our feet, we need something to hold on to. Many of us choose to grab hold of a bottle, but in this analogy this drink or drug is falling with us, bringing us further away from where we want to be. The only way to find secure footing is to go deep and get in touch with our heart.
The main message of this post is to encourage us all to consider what it is we are allowing to remain in our lives, especially once we are aware of the things that hinder us or offer us nothing beneficial. There is a life in front of each of us to be lived. We should really be striving to be living in it. Coming to that place where the heart has settled, we can observe so much beauty and wonder in the world around us. We can find reasons to be grateful and happy; even in the midst of difficulties we can understand their value and be hopeful. We can see that there is a way forward and take the appropriate steps, without feeling ashamed to ask for help if we need it. If we don’t take the time to have this crucial and meaningful time of contemplation and reflection because we are so used to pouring ourselves a drink or lighting up a blunt, then we will always be living with the futile hope that our problems will just disappear and we will somehow achieve our hopes and dreams. And that is no way to live.
(Quotes by Rev. Sun Myung Moon)
And so partly why I am writing this is to see if any of you can relate. Is this a common feeling? That getting drunk and high are things that we feel we have to do but we know it's a far cry from what we should be able to have in our lives?
In the challenging world we live in it seems that alcohol, and other substances, have become a necessity in order to function. We’ve developed as a society to be people that will do anything to be taken away from the struggles that come with our everyday lives. Whether it be through drugs, alcohol, video games, TV shows, whatever. But what is the consequence of this sort of lifestyle? We lose touch with our hearts. And when we do this then we cannot be true, we cannot be at peace, and we cannot be happy.
“The teacher with whom we have the closest relationship is our heart. Our heart is more precious to us than our closest friends and even more precious than our parents. So, as we live our lives, we need periodically to ask our hearts, “Am I living a good life now?” Anyone can hear his heart speaking to him. If he comes to the realization that his heart is his master, he “polishes” his heart and maintains a close relationship with his heart throughout his life. If a person hears the sound of his heart tearfully sobbing, then he needs to stop immediately whatever he is doing. Anything that makes the heart suffer will ruin him. Anything that makes the heart sad will eventually make the person fall into sadness.”
I watched the beginning of a short documentary called The Truth about Marijuana. Often weed is said to be used casually and just for medical purposes. It’s “harmless”. However, in this video they had people who were absolutely addicted and, in the moment, unaware of that fact. The general feeling they all shared was regret. They regretted not finishing school; they regretted getting kicked off the wrestling team; they regretted that now they had a record and couldn’t find work… One man expressed it very well why he got high and I think it's universally true, “getting high was a way to escape”. He later shared one eye-opening experience. After getting into a serious accident where he totaled his car, he recalled that his first reaction was to reach for his weed and light up. Sadly I imagine it was this very habit that led him on the path to reach this unfortunate outcome. And so, it is impossible to imagine it could also somehow be the way to a solution.
People, we all are capable of achieving greatness. But these things- drugs and alcohol- won’t help any of us to get there. To achieve greatness, to be the best we can be… it requires following our hearts. It sounds cliche, yes I know. How else, though, do you think the great men and women of history and today do the things they did? The people who go out and change history, find true love, leave behind a legacy, they followed the call from within.
“For a person to polish his heart to the point that it becomes as clear as crystal, he absolutely must spend time in direct conversation with his heart in an environment where he is away from the world and alone with his heart. It will be a time of intense loneliness, but the moment that we become close to our hearts is the time of prayer and meditation. It is a time when we can take ownership over our hearts. When we isolate ourselves from the noise around us and allow our thoughts to settle, we can see into the deepest parts of our hearts. It will take a lot of time and effort to go all the way down to where the heart has settled. It will not happen in a day.”
Let’s take an honest look. What does alcohol give you? What does getting high get you? Is it possible we’re letting this shitty “friend” to be apart of our life when the truth is it does nothing positive for us or for the world? Even overlooking the large number of catastrophes that substance abuse causes, has either drugs or alcohol allowed us to be more successful? To deepen our relationships with our friends and families? It is something I think each of us have to ask ourselves.
Is there a world ahead of us without the “need” for being high or drunk? Probably not for a while. But in my world I decide that it isn’t needed. I don’t want to escape life. Even the difficult times in my life have been valuable to me. They have taught me so much. Shaped who I am. Made me stronger. And the people I have gone through challenges with are the ones closest to me.
I don’t want to “need” alcohol to have the courage to say what I need to say. I don’t want to “need” weed in order to find peace and to de-stress. My courage will be developed step-by-step. My inner peace I will find by taking care of my mind, body and spirit. And that means taking time to listen to my heart, to ask it “Am I living a good life? Am I being the best I can be? If not, what can I do differently?”
I believe people who finally have asked that question to themselves (and on a daily basis), have broken free of the chains in their lives. They are the ones who finally take control of their diet and lose weight. They are the ones who attend the group meetings to address their addiction. They are the ones who understand they deserve real love and leave their toxic relationships. The people who turn to drugs and alcohol only get the illusion of being free from their chains. In times of crisis, when the ground seems to be giving way right beneath our feet, we need something to hold on to. Many of us choose to grab hold of a bottle, but in this analogy this drink or drug is falling with us, bringing us further away from where we want to be. The only way to find secure footing is to go deep and get in touch with our heart.
The main message of this post is to encourage us all to consider what it is we are allowing to remain in our lives, especially once we are aware of the things that hinder us or offer us nothing beneficial. There is a life in front of each of us to be lived. We should really be striving to be living in it. Coming to that place where the heart has settled, we can observe so much beauty and wonder in the world around us. We can find reasons to be grateful and happy; even in the midst of difficulties we can understand their value and be hopeful. We can see that there is a way forward and take the appropriate steps, without feeling ashamed to ask for help if we need it. If we don’t take the time to have this crucial and meaningful time of contemplation and reflection because we are so used to pouring ourselves a drink or lighting up a blunt, then we will always be living with the futile hope that our problems will just disappear and we will somehow achieve our hopes and dreams. And that is no way to live.
(Quotes by Rev. Sun Myung Moon)
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