There are beliefs that limit us and ones that uplift us. Which do you hold?

If someone asked you what you believed what would you tell them? During the last few years I met many different kinds of people, and that was a very common question people asked me. What I quickly found out was that when asking someone what they believe, the question usually being asked is what religion do you follow. Perhaps it’s because of this religious connotation that is usually associated with beliefs that we don’t talk about them with others that often. Our beliefs, however, are extremely important and relevant to our day-to-day experiences. They affect the decisions we make and the way we treat ourselves and others.

Looking back I really appreciate the people who asked me that question. Although some were asking me just so they could prove me wrong, some were genuinely curious to know. Maybe some of them already knew that this question was more for me then it was for them. Nevertheless, through having the chance to share I begin to discover what it was that I did believe.

Whether it has been in our own lives or in seeing it in the lives of other people, I’m sure we have all recognized that success- and happiness for that matter- is not so much about a person’s skills but about what they belief. Belief, in most cases, precedes action. You can tell whether a belief is limiting or uplifting based on the actions or responses that result from it. This is the main reason I bring up this topic of beliefs because it's the place we should first look to address when we are finding ourselves unhappy and unsatisfied with different aspects of our lives, especially in our relationships with others.

Here are some common examples of limiting beliefs and their consequent outcomes that I thought of:

• If you don’t believe you can do something chances are you won’t bother trying in the first place and are not very open to try new things.
• If you believe that a type of person is inferior to you, you will undoubtedly treat them with disdain.
• If you believe your opinion is not important and nobody cares what you have to say, then you will miss the opportunities where your voice and wisdom is needed.
• If you believe you don’t need anyone else’s help, you may find yourself often feeling isolated and uncared for.
• If you believe your partner is there to make you happy, you will impose on them unfair expectations and you will not be able experience the beauty of unconditional love in your relationship.
• If you believe “I am a victim”...

That last one is a big one. It is all about putting our feelings in the hands of someone or something else. Blaming others and our circumstances for how we feel. Making every inconvenience out as a personal attack on us when in reality the people around us are trying to live their life and get through their day just like us.

This is very important to be aware of because I know that when we continually feel like a victim the next step we take is usually to victimize someone else. When we hold the believe that we are entitled, that we are the one who is in pain and in need, then we will look to others to take from them or push them down. Just try to catch yourself the next time you are blaming someone else or become aware of the times when you get angry. Ask yourself, what is really going on here? Through what “lens” am I looking at this experience with?

We have to do the work to first, identify what are the limiting beliefs we are letting ourselves hold and then second, changing those beliefs to ones that uplift our life. It’s all very possible! In order to become aware of these- because usually we are not immediately conscious of them- we must examine our experiences, past and present, and find the patterns and recurring feelings and outcomes. When we revisit these memories, usually with the help of someone else, we begin to see where we got the “lens” through which we see ourselves and the world around us.

The amazing thing I have come to realize about beliefs is that they are self-fulfilling. Life will show us what we believe it should show us. So this is just as true for the the uplifting beliefs as it is for the limiting ones.

Some examples of uplifting beliefs:

• I believe I can be more, and I can do more; I am not limited.
• I have something to learn from everyone I meet.
• I believe I am a blessing in the lives of my friends and family (it sort of sounds like your being full of yourself but if you mean it in a not-self-serving way then it really is a beautiful thing).
• I have something unique and irreplaceable to bring to this world.

I really like the following quote by Marianne Williamson because I think it expresses very well one of the greatest uplifting beliefs we can have of ourselves and, as a result, of others.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

In the end this is something that must be developed in each of us. When we challenge ourselves to dream of something better we are stretching our belief. When we try again, even though many times we failed before, we are stretching our belief. And it will compound. It is like a muscle, we won’t see the change immediately but with time we will be stronger and stronger, able to believe in the things we once thought were impossible. That in itself is something that we need to make the effort to believe is true.

This world needs more belief in the goodness and potential of people, ourselves included. If there was no one in this world who believed it could be better then nothing ever would have changed. We have to find the way to belief in our best selves so that we may then be able to believe in the goodness in others, and believe in hope for this world. I want to encourage you to take some time to reflect on this and be open to allowing your beliefs to be changed.

I also have an announcement! I will be taking a break from posting in the month of April. I have my finals right in the middle of the month so I thought that is where I should put all my focus on for the time-being. I will however be making my next post May 1st so stay tuned! I have got a big one in mind. I also wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have taken your time to read my blog so far and for those who have supported me along the way. Have a good month of April!