What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep every night? Is there some sort of routine you follow? Maybe you like to take a bath and listen to your favorite music. Or you drink a glass of milk or a cup of tea while reading a book. Maybe for you going to bed is just falling asleep wherever you happen to crash. A common routine might be to brush your teeth, check your alarm, climb into bed and...go on your phone for another hour or so? That may not apply to all of you but that was definitely me for a long time. Since I first got a phone really- well since I got a smartphone. It was an unwavering part of my daily routine; many times I did it irrespective to the importance of the next day. It was in November of last year where I really took a look at this habit of mine and decided it needed to be challenged and changed. At first I began with a two week trial of leaving my phone at my desk, but now for nearly 4 solid months I have abstained from this habit and I don’t miss it.
First I want to talk about habits and routines. I won’t pretend to be an expert but I have become more and more fascinated by the power of habits. Why? Because our habits, intentional or not, shape our lives! The words of Aristotle express it well, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” It’s pretty straightforward actually. If you wanted to get really good at something, you would just need to practice doing it everyday, or at least on a consistent basis. With the winter Olympics on right now, we can witness the incredible skill of athletes from around the world, skill that has been honed after years of practice. These people have made habits and routines for themselves which have brought them along this road of success. It is really exciting to imagine that we can make significant changes in our lives by making the choice and commitment to create new habits. But it isn’t always so straightforward in the action itself; like they say, easier said than done.
So what stops us from achieving excellence? Just to note, excellence isn’t just about being recognized on a grand scale like those Olympic athletes I mentioned. I would say excellence is even just living a life you are proud of. A mentor of mine once told me that the reason we don’t create good habits is because our life is already full with bad, unhealthy or unproductive, habits. And until we can recognize these unconscious tendencies that steal our time and diminish our belief in ourselves then we will always be stuck. It is one of the reasons why we can sometimes see certain things re-occurring again and again in our lives. Being a student, there’s one example I have definitely seen amongst my classmates, myself included. Procrastination. It is such a common response to a big workload, but it doesn’t help us at all. It always leaves us even more stressed than if we actually started to tackle things one by one. We know this yet we still can’t help to do it anyways. Because it has become our habit.
For me going to bed with my phone and staying up late watching movies or skimming through Facebook was one of those things that I knew wasn’t really adding anything to my life, but I would do it anyways. Despite it being something that I would sometimes regret the next day, I would find myself doing it again because I felt that I needed it. In our society today this has become a habit that isn’t limited to when we’re winding down our day. Anytime when we’re feeling like we’re missing something, feeling empty, or lacking connection we have learned that a way to feel better is to go on our phone and watch a random video. But it’s only temporary and it leaves us hungry for more.
This is an especially important issue for kids and teenagers. Since the age of getting a device is getting younger and younger, there are children starting this unhealthy habit which takes away the sleep that is crucial for their growth and development. There is also studies that have linked reclusion and depression with excessive phone use. On top of that there is the encroaching porn industry that tries to target this vulnerable younger demographic (but all of us too) through these devices. Please do your research on this and you will find it to be true.
Do we not value sleep? Now before you start thinking, “Is he really asking me that right now? I love sleep!”, hear me out. I personally came to a realization recently that maybe I don’t value sleep that much. Or rather I give other things greater value over sleep. And that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I mean imagine if your parents valued sleep more than caring for you while you were a baby. You probably wouldn’t be here. However I found myself putting greater value in watching videos rather than getting the rest my mind and body needed. Even there would be nights when I would come home late after hanging out with friends, feeling exhausted that, instead of going to bed, I would stay up for another 2 hours on my phone.
I valued those things above sleep because feeling good right now was more important than being refreshed for the new day that was tomorrow. And anyways often it felt like it didn’t matter how much sleep I would get because I’d still feel tired. This chronic tiredness that so many people experience can be pretty miserable, and many of us feel we can’t escape that. I mean I think I know several people who seemed to have given up completely getting a healthy amount of sleep and are in this state of only partly being present. I’d like to propose that feeling awake is not just about how much sleep you get. Honestly I would only count it as 50% of it. The other 50% is composed of our diet and exercise and our purpose. Simply put: if you have a reason to wake up and get moving throughout your day, you can do just that.
The control you feel when you eventually can curb this habit feels far better than the temporary highs it gives you. If you don’t believe me try it. Try going two weeks without using your phone (or laptop) in bed. Go to bed and then go to bed. Sleep! Most likely it will be weird at first and you will need some time to adjust but if you stick with it you slowly begin to feel the effects. It will feel right because you are really loving yourself. Not just giving it what it demands, like giving a demanding kid candy and games all the time, but providing it what it needs for the long run, like teaching your kid to appreciate hard work and sharing. You are much more likely to have consistent sleep (even if it still is less than you may want), which will help you to feel refreshed.
There are a few other benefits that I’ve experienced since putting this habit into practice. One thing that it does for me is to give my mind a break, to make a symbolic separation from my school, work, relationships, etc. These things can be an ever-present strain, and it was usually the unresolved feelings attached to those things that would be what would lead me to mindlessly search the web. Now with this habit I’ve opened the door to find closure at the end of my day and to actually be content with just going to bed to sleep. Finally, finding victory in this habit has given me a greater mastery over myself and my life. I have found it easier to push myself in other areas and to make clearer decisions, rather than be dragged around by my emotions or my bodies desires. Since we are beings where our mind, body and spirit are so interconnected between themselves and with the people and environment around us, we can experience a breakthrough in several areas of our life that may be blocked when we can have a breakthrough in one thing. If you don’t know what I’m talking about- and I’m sorry that it might be because I’m not explaining it well- then I especially want to encourage you to give developing this habit a try. You’ll know it when you experience it.
In conclusion, our phones are incredible tools. Honestly it is amazing how much they are capable of. Be sure that you are staying in control and not vice-versa. Find and develop your sense of purpose and self-worth and then your phone can truly be a tool that adds to your life, rather than being a tool for distraction and cheap pleasure. I am definitely still in the fight myself. Join me, give this challenge a try for two weeks, and let’s start living a healthier and a more purpose-driven life.
If this isn’t really something that is a problem for you, than I want to encourage you to examine some other habits/routines in your life. Ask yourself if it really adds anything to your day or to your overall well-being? If not replace it with a habit you do want to have.
First I want to talk about habits and routines. I won’t pretend to be an expert but I have become more and more fascinated by the power of habits. Why? Because our habits, intentional or not, shape our lives! The words of Aristotle express it well, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” It’s pretty straightforward actually. If you wanted to get really good at something, you would just need to practice doing it everyday, or at least on a consistent basis. With the winter Olympics on right now, we can witness the incredible skill of athletes from around the world, skill that has been honed after years of practice. These people have made habits and routines for themselves which have brought them along this road of success. It is really exciting to imagine that we can make significant changes in our lives by making the choice and commitment to create new habits. But it isn’t always so straightforward in the action itself; like they say, easier said than done.
So what stops us from achieving excellence? Just to note, excellence isn’t just about being recognized on a grand scale like those Olympic athletes I mentioned. I would say excellence is even just living a life you are proud of. A mentor of mine once told me that the reason we don’t create good habits is because our life is already full with bad, unhealthy or unproductive, habits. And until we can recognize these unconscious tendencies that steal our time and diminish our belief in ourselves then we will always be stuck. It is one of the reasons why we can sometimes see certain things re-occurring again and again in our lives. Being a student, there’s one example I have definitely seen amongst my classmates, myself included. Procrastination. It is such a common response to a big workload, but it doesn’t help us at all. It always leaves us even more stressed than if we actually started to tackle things one by one. We know this yet we still can’t help to do it anyways. Because it has become our habit.
For me going to bed with my phone and staying up late watching movies or skimming through Facebook was one of those things that I knew wasn’t really adding anything to my life, but I would do it anyways. Despite it being something that I would sometimes regret the next day, I would find myself doing it again because I felt that I needed it. In our society today this has become a habit that isn’t limited to when we’re winding down our day. Anytime when we’re feeling like we’re missing something, feeling empty, or lacking connection we have learned that a way to feel better is to go on our phone and watch a random video. But it’s only temporary and it leaves us hungry for more.
This is an especially important issue for kids and teenagers. Since the age of getting a device is getting younger and younger, there are children starting this unhealthy habit which takes away the sleep that is crucial for their growth and development. There is also studies that have linked reclusion and depression with excessive phone use. On top of that there is the encroaching porn industry that tries to target this vulnerable younger demographic (but all of us too) through these devices. Please do your research on this and you will find it to be true.
Do we not value sleep? Now before you start thinking, “Is he really asking me that right now? I love sleep!”, hear me out. I personally came to a realization recently that maybe I don’t value sleep that much. Or rather I give other things greater value over sleep. And that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I mean imagine if your parents valued sleep more than caring for you while you were a baby. You probably wouldn’t be here. However I found myself putting greater value in watching videos rather than getting the rest my mind and body needed. Even there would be nights when I would come home late after hanging out with friends, feeling exhausted that, instead of going to bed, I would stay up for another 2 hours on my phone.
I valued those things above sleep because feeling good right now was more important than being refreshed for the new day that was tomorrow. And anyways often it felt like it didn’t matter how much sleep I would get because I’d still feel tired. This chronic tiredness that so many people experience can be pretty miserable, and many of us feel we can’t escape that. I mean I think I know several people who seemed to have given up completely getting a healthy amount of sleep and are in this state of only partly being present. I’d like to propose that feeling awake is not just about how much sleep you get. Honestly I would only count it as 50% of it. The other 50% is composed of our diet and exercise and our purpose. Simply put: if you have a reason to wake up and get moving throughout your day, you can do just that.
The control you feel when you eventually can curb this habit feels far better than the temporary highs it gives you. If you don’t believe me try it. Try going two weeks without using your phone (or laptop) in bed. Go to bed and then go to bed. Sleep! Most likely it will be weird at first and you will need some time to adjust but if you stick with it you slowly begin to feel the effects. It will feel right because you are really loving yourself. Not just giving it what it demands, like giving a demanding kid candy and games all the time, but providing it what it needs for the long run, like teaching your kid to appreciate hard work and sharing. You are much more likely to have consistent sleep (even if it still is less than you may want), which will help you to feel refreshed.
There are a few other benefits that I’ve experienced since putting this habit into practice. One thing that it does for me is to give my mind a break, to make a symbolic separation from my school, work, relationships, etc. These things can be an ever-present strain, and it was usually the unresolved feelings attached to those things that would be what would lead me to mindlessly search the web. Now with this habit I’ve opened the door to find closure at the end of my day and to actually be content with just going to bed to sleep. Finally, finding victory in this habit has given me a greater mastery over myself and my life. I have found it easier to push myself in other areas and to make clearer decisions, rather than be dragged around by my emotions or my bodies desires. Since we are beings where our mind, body and spirit are so interconnected between themselves and with the people and environment around us, we can experience a breakthrough in several areas of our life that may be blocked when we can have a breakthrough in one thing. If you don’t know what I’m talking about- and I’m sorry that it might be because I’m not explaining it well- then I especially want to encourage you to give developing this habit a try. You’ll know it when you experience it.
In conclusion, our phones are incredible tools. Honestly it is amazing how much they are capable of. Be sure that you are staying in control and not vice-versa. Find and develop your sense of purpose and self-worth and then your phone can truly be a tool that adds to your life, rather than being a tool for distraction and cheap pleasure. I am definitely still in the fight myself. Join me, give this challenge a try for two weeks, and let’s start living a healthier and a more purpose-driven life.
If this isn’t really something that is a problem for you, than I want to encourage you to examine some other habits/routines in your life. Ask yourself if it really adds anything to your day or to your overall well-being? If not replace it with a habit you do want to have.
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