Maybe some of you recognize the title from the song Come to Light by the Arkells. Or, more likely, this line brings to mind a common lesson we all heard at some point growing up. “The truth will eventually come out.” “Lies and deceit will only temporarily solve the problem, and most likely will make matters worse.” The common connotation that comes with this message is one of warning. However, I’d also like to delve into how it can be taken as a hopeful message. Either way, the fact of the matter is that the things you do when no one is watching is what counts.
When I was 6 I had a problem with hiding my lunch. My mom would often pack for me and my siblings leftovers from dinner. I can’t remember if I had some people poke fun of me for my lunch or if I simply didn’t want to be seen with it, but I decided I’d hide my leftovers. My hiding spot was a closet near our backdoor, an easy drop-off for me upon leaving or arriving home. It was a great plan in my 6-year-old mind, but you can already guess what was going to happen. It came to light alright. Missing containers, and the smell… ya my charades did not last long. Looking back, it is hard to believe I’d go to those measures to hide my leftovers, I mean, heck, my mom’s cooking is good! It goes to show how embedded in each of us is this irrational tendency to hide. But by now, after having grown up from being little kids, we should know that we are terrible at that, right?
Unfortunately, maybe not. 2017 brought to light many things that were in the dark, and that trend looks like it is just going to continue. Already at the beginning of this year, after the recent Golden Globes one of the big stories we heard was that actor James Franco was being accused of sexual assault, right after receiving his award. He of course is not the first, and most likely won’t be the last. I’m not here to point fingers but I bring it up to expose the clear lesson here: what happens in the dark will come to light. For too long people, especially in positions of power and fame, have had too many dealings in the shadows. They think they can get away with cutting corners, making unethical deals, and hurting others. These men, that are consistently popping up on the news, are prime examples of this. They have enjoyed the spotlight, being recognized for their accomplishments, living the good life, but once their shady past is revealed they become stuck in a different kind of spotlight that I imagine they would give anything to get out of. The reality is that we as human beings may have the freedom to choose our actions, but no one is free from the consequences of their actions.
Now I know many of us are not carrying dark secrets to those proportions. However, it does not mean we also are not hiding something. It was during these last few years that I began to see how much I was living behind a mask. Even without my conscious awareness I was pretending to be someone that I wasn’t. Someone who was chill, without worries, not caring about anything. Someone who was strong and above mistakes. Someone who I just needed to be in the moment to feel like I belonged amongst the people I was with. I have begun the journey to take off these masks but it isn’t easy. There are still many things that I am afraid once people see me for they will treat me differently. But again and again I have to remind myself that that is the starting point, exactly where you are.
So let’s get to the hopeful message. What is it that so many of us do that no one sees? Or perhaps a better question, what is it that we wish people could see? It’s our effort. It is the late nights we spend bent over our books studying for an exam. It is the hours we spent at work trying to make the money we need to take that trip. It is the times we gave up our seat for someone who needed it. It is the moments where we feel like quitting because we don’t feel like we are making progress, but don’t. It is the mornings we get up even when we have no hope in the day ahead. We all want to be recognized for the effort we make, but so often it can feel that what I do doesn’t matter.
A difficult thing for me to come to terms with was that although I felt I had changed, other people wouldn’t be able to see that right away. And in truth that is no fault of theirs. Because it takes time. I however expected to be recognized now. Whenever I’d come back home from each year I spent on GPA, I couldn't help but feel frustrated. “They don’t get what I did.” Now I’ve come to understand what mattered more was who I became or, rather, who I was becoming. And that will show eventually. It will bear fruit in your schoolwork, in your relationships, in your career, and on and on.
When you can finally get on stage and sing that song, doesn’t it make all those hours practicing worth it? Or when you look at your report card and you’ve gotten straight A’s? Or when you can finally score that goal? Or when your friend thanks you for being there for them when no one else was? Or when you have someone you love and there is mutual trust between you? Maybe you don’t have a specific memory like that yet. However, just think about the stuff you are capable of doing now and recognize that even 2 or 3 years ago you couldn’t do that. Your growth in the dark is slowing coming to light, like a seed that begins to grow beneath the soil finally sprouting to become the tree it was meant to be.
We have to become people that work on what matters, that do the right thing, whether people recognize it or not. There are no shortcuts; usually the path that offers those ends up being a much more twisted and painful road than the straight honest path. To make the effort to be a better person, someone that is healthy inside and out, someone who is capable of caring for others, someone that you are proud to be, that is worth the investment. Because although it is true that the bad will eventually come to light, so will the good.
When I was 6 I had a problem with hiding my lunch. My mom would often pack for me and my siblings leftovers from dinner. I can’t remember if I had some people poke fun of me for my lunch or if I simply didn’t want to be seen with it, but I decided I’d hide my leftovers. My hiding spot was a closet near our backdoor, an easy drop-off for me upon leaving or arriving home. It was a great plan in my 6-year-old mind, but you can already guess what was going to happen. It came to light alright. Missing containers, and the smell… ya my charades did not last long. Looking back, it is hard to believe I’d go to those measures to hide my leftovers, I mean, heck, my mom’s cooking is good! It goes to show how embedded in each of us is this irrational tendency to hide. But by now, after having grown up from being little kids, we should know that we are terrible at that, right?
Unfortunately, maybe not. 2017 brought to light many things that were in the dark, and that trend looks like it is just going to continue. Already at the beginning of this year, after the recent Golden Globes one of the big stories we heard was that actor James Franco was being accused of sexual assault, right after receiving his award. He of course is not the first, and most likely won’t be the last. I’m not here to point fingers but I bring it up to expose the clear lesson here: what happens in the dark will come to light. For too long people, especially in positions of power and fame, have had too many dealings in the shadows. They think they can get away with cutting corners, making unethical deals, and hurting others. These men, that are consistently popping up on the news, are prime examples of this. They have enjoyed the spotlight, being recognized for their accomplishments, living the good life, but once their shady past is revealed they become stuck in a different kind of spotlight that I imagine they would give anything to get out of. The reality is that we as human beings may have the freedom to choose our actions, but no one is free from the consequences of their actions.
Now I know many of us are not carrying dark secrets to those proportions. However, it does not mean we also are not hiding something. It was during these last few years that I began to see how much I was living behind a mask. Even without my conscious awareness I was pretending to be someone that I wasn’t. Someone who was chill, without worries, not caring about anything. Someone who was strong and above mistakes. Someone who I just needed to be in the moment to feel like I belonged amongst the people I was with. I have begun the journey to take off these masks but it isn’t easy. There are still many things that I am afraid once people see me for they will treat me differently. But again and again I have to remind myself that that is the starting point, exactly where you are.
So let’s get to the hopeful message. What is it that so many of us do that no one sees? Or perhaps a better question, what is it that we wish people could see? It’s our effort. It is the late nights we spend bent over our books studying for an exam. It is the hours we spent at work trying to make the money we need to take that trip. It is the times we gave up our seat for someone who needed it. It is the moments where we feel like quitting because we don’t feel like we are making progress, but don’t. It is the mornings we get up even when we have no hope in the day ahead. We all want to be recognized for the effort we make, but so often it can feel that what I do doesn’t matter.
A difficult thing for me to come to terms with was that although I felt I had changed, other people wouldn’t be able to see that right away. And in truth that is no fault of theirs. Because it takes time. I however expected to be recognized now. Whenever I’d come back home from each year I spent on GPA, I couldn't help but feel frustrated. “They don’t get what I did.” Now I’ve come to understand what mattered more was who I became or, rather, who I was becoming. And that will show eventually. It will bear fruit in your schoolwork, in your relationships, in your career, and on and on.
When you can finally get on stage and sing that song, doesn’t it make all those hours practicing worth it? Or when you look at your report card and you’ve gotten straight A’s? Or when you can finally score that goal? Or when your friend thanks you for being there for them when no one else was? Or when you have someone you love and there is mutual trust between you? Maybe you don’t have a specific memory like that yet. However, just think about the stuff you are capable of doing now and recognize that even 2 or 3 years ago you couldn’t do that. Your growth in the dark is slowing coming to light, like a seed that begins to grow beneath the soil finally sprouting to become the tree it was meant to be.
We have to become people that work on what matters, that do the right thing, whether people recognize it or not. There are no shortcuts; usually the path that offers those ends up being a much more twisted and painful road than the straight honest path. To make the effort to be a better person, someone that is healthy inside and out, someone who is capable of caring for others, someone that you are proud to be, that is worth the investment. Because although it is true that the bad will eventually come to light, so will the good.
Nice! Incredible!! So worthy of reflection! Keep Going :)
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